Glashow-Multi-genre-blog-post-4

 

My Journey into Teaching

Journal Entry 5

February 18^th, 2021

I haven’t written in a few days. I have had so may obligations. Usually, I am able to wrap up my work a little earlier in the day, and that frees me up to get some of the class assignments done, but this week has been a bear. We have a new program manager, and she is trying to change everything at once, and her requests for information, process modifications, and reporting methods are endless.

Her and the deputy PM, who has basically fallen in step, seem unaware of the paces they are putting us through. We have processes in place for a reason, and they have been developed over time. Often, they do not explain to us why they are asking for these changes, and I feel that it is affecting my motivation, because they barely listen to my point of view. They need to realize that I was hired for my expertise, and to moderate my contributions undermines the experience I was brought on board for in the first place. For them to override that, and basically have me push out changes that they are unilaterally deciding on, has made it difficult for me to care about our performance or the results, something I have always been focused on.

Additionally, the assistant PM has now been micromanaging my work, whereas previously I had been trusted to provide final versions that were readily accepted for submission to the customer. For a while I had been receiving requests for modifications, with corrections spelled out on my documents, in quite a detailed manner. The last few things I have submitted, I did not receive back, but noticed changes had been made before submission, with even consulting me! If they are going to manage the final version, why should I even spend so much time going over each document? I guess I don’t even need to spell check anymore. This controlling style is really getting to me.

Reminds me of some of the reading we have been doing for class (now that I have finally found some time to catch up). One concept in particular, having to do with teaching styles, comes to mind. In the same way that a controlling style of management at work had removed some of my motivation, the same can happen in the classroom. It is a widely held concept that teachers who are overly controlling of their students, who don’t let them think for themselves, ultimately provide for a much less satisfying classroom environment for everyone involved. 

A controlling or authoritarian style can have the effect of adding pressure, removing feelings of self-esteem and self-worth, and overall affecting student’s psychological well-being [1].  On the other hand, and autonomy-supportive teaching method increases student self-esteem, teaches self-reliance, and generally provides a more supportive and productive working environment.

Yet teachers also feel pressure, whether from above or below, to teach in a commanding style. They also may feel that cultural norms support this style [1]. Finally, this way of teaching may be ingrained in the personality of the teacher. Though this article has some recommendations for remediating this behavior, I have always been amazed, from both my own experiences, and from that of my kids, that there are a fair number of teachers who did not/do not seem suited to oversee a classroom.  Whether they are there for the power trip, or they chose the profession early on and do not think that can make the leap to something new, or they have some disorder that makes them think they are doing a good job, these teachers do exist. And I do not think the solutions spelled out in the article can remedy all these dysfunctional educators.

I know, based on my personality, my sense of empathy, my real desire to help my students succeed, that I will be able to embrace the autonomy-motivating style that will enable success in the classroom.

So, that leaves me with what to do about work. Fortunately, I have just received permission to cut my work hours each week. This will provide me more time for school assignments as well as journal writing. In the meantime, I think it will behoove me to speak with my supervisors and work through a solution. I understand the pressure they are receiving from above, but, like the autonomous motivating style, we will all be better off if they better explain their motivations and allow me to carry out my work in an autonomous manner.

Yes, it is tempting to leave in a blaze of glory. But that is not my style. As an astute teacher said, “a moment of patience in a moment of frustration saves you a hundred moments of regret.” Anyway, I know a year from now I will have the pleasure of teaching in a classroom, while my current colleagues will be trudging into the office. I think my improved outlook in revenge enough.